Anaconda Dir: Tom Gormican (13th Floor Movie Review)
Anaconda: Jack Black and Paul Rudd’s giant-snake buddy flick has a big heart hiding beneath its slithery exterior.
Serving as a meta-reboot of the 1997 film Anaconda, it is directed by Tom Gormican and written by Gormican and Kevin Etten.
Starring: Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Steve Zahn, Thandiwe Newton, Daniela Melchior, and Selton Mello.
Beneath the excellently executed jump scares and snakey fun lies a heartwarming message about enduring friendships and never giving up on your childhood dreams.
The premise is pretty simple. Four childhood pals — Doug Black, a wedding videographer who hijacks his clients’ videos with inappropriate movie homages; Griff (Rudd), a background “actor” whose biggest claim to fame is repeat appearances on SWAT; Kenny (Zahn), a good-natured stoner with zero prospects; and Claire (Newton), whom the lads all treat like a sister, despite Griff being (naturally) secretly in love with her — get the opportunity to remake the 1997 cult classic Anaconda. In doing so, they relive their childhoods spent shooting home movies on a Super 8 film camera.
The magnum opus of those golden years was titled Sqatch, which — in footage recovered by Griff — resembles a bizarre mash-up of a creature feature and Bugsy Malone.
With big dreams and a tiny budget, this intrepid crew of wannabe Scorseses head off to the Amazon Rainforest to hook up with Santiago (Mello), aka the guy who knows a thing or two about big snakes — and who also happens to be as mad as a cut snake himself. They’re joined by shady boat captain Ana (Melchior), who has secrets of her own to protect.
Sadly, the anaconda originally cast in the role of “the Anaconda” meets with an unfortunate accident early in the shoot. A crushed (ahem) Santiago, who considered the snake his only friend, pulls himself together and embarks on a quest to find a replacement reptile.
Cue enormous anaconda — not a euphemism — and our hapless snake hunters discovering that you should be careful what you wish for when it comes to the pursuit of enormous anacondas.
There are some very funny set pieces, a gold-smuggling subplot that never quite takes off, and a whole meta-remake-within-a-remake thing that will give devotees of the 1997 J-Lo/Ice Cube original plenty of fun spotting the many Easter eggs scattered throughout the reboot(s).
(Tropic Thunder fans, will also spot a reference but I’m unsure if that one was intentional.)
It’s Newton’s first physical cinematic outing for a while — she’s been busy with voice work on Mufasa and Chicken Run — and it’s a joy to see her reveal an unexpected flair for comedy.
Rudd brings his usual sweet “your favourite brother” energy to proceedings and is clearly an honours graduate of the Brad Pitt College of Eternal Youth. In one scene the camera gets so close to his face you can see the sweat on his brow and marvel at how he manages to sweat at all when he seemingly doesn’t have any pores.
Is it silly? Of course it is. But it’s the silly season, so grab the fam and embrace the fun.
Merry Hisssmas, gentle readers — may your festive season be as smooth and untroubled as Paul Rudd’s forehead.
Jo Barry
Anaconda is in cinemas Christmas Day. Click here for tickets and showtimes.
