Theatre Review: Le Basement XXXmas Cabaret, Basement Theatre, 21 November 2020

Welcome to Le Basement XXXmas Cabaret! It’s The Basement Theatre’s biggest fundraiser of the year, and I would like to report that they staged a full on banger of an extravaganza for us. However, what with Covid-19 and no bums on seats, it’s dire times…

In fact, the stage lights came up as Zsa Zsa Gabor (Ava Diakhaby) and Alex (Bryony Skillington) were rehearsing their bawdy opening number and one of the glitter curtains fell down with a crash. Someone upstairs flushed the toilet and water leaked from a pipe near the stage. And Alex could have been killed by a stage light that came loose from its fitting!

The poor stagehand, Poppie (Brynley Stent), a rather plain, mopish girl, who whinged a bit much about having murdered a family of rats and how she dreams of being a star of the stage – she ran around frantically trying to hold the place together.

Zsa Zsa and Alex didn’t have time for her nonsense and told her to “Shut up!” That wasn’t very nice but they were caught up in an argument as to whether one ‘nipped it in the butt’ or ‘nipped it in the bud,’ followed by another vivid row over whether one wipes back to front or front to back. And on top of that, they were fretting that ticket sales were lousy, everything was going to Hell and the theatre would have to close.

But Zsa Zsa had a Hail Mary Pass up her sleeve. She’d save the day by calling in a favour – one that came with a price!

XXXmas Cabaret is the funniest and most outrageous show I’ve seen this year. (Disclosure, I haven’t seen a show since March. Thanks, Covid.) Actor Kura Forrester and comedian & host of Have You Been Paying Attention, Hayley Sproull, co-wrote this splendid travesty of holiday horrors, exploiting every Christmas pageant trope and perverting the sacred traditions for non-stop, side-splitting laughs. The 12 Days of Christmas launches with ‘12 dicks a dipping’ and I promise you, it does not end with a partridge.

Sproull, whose talents appear limitless, also wrote all the original music.

XXXmas Cabaret could not have been more divinely cast. Ava Diakhaby is lusciously sensual and just a bit naïve as she struts about in white, fur trimmed, baby doll lingerie. The perfect counterpoint to Bryony Skillington’s westie tough girl ruling the roost in a black lace corset. Brynley Stent is a scene-stealer as the mousy Poppie with her mewling voice and janitor’s coveralls and brings the house down in the second half with a shocking change.

The show features a surprise musical guest every night. The programme lists the following possibilities: Jess B, Amanda Billing, Jackie Clarke, Anna Coddington, Julia Deans, Disciple Pati, Liam Finn, Paige, Raze, Theia, Jennifer Ward-Lealand and more. And on opening night – it was Laura Daniel along with her keyboard player, Joseph Moore. She seemed a little unsure of what she’d got herself into at the start, but found her groove and rocked it.

Director Leon Wadham would surely have had his hands full pulling this show together. I’m not sure he would have been able to manage it without cracking the whip. But then, with this script, Bryony Skillington could easily have snatched it from his hands and used it on him! But through the delightfully filthy madness, he delivers an almost seamless production that left the sold-out audience gasping.

Special credit must go to the costume designer Ruby Read. While most of the burlesque costumes are de rigueur, her deployment of a bit of bondage gear is priceless.

Get yourself in proper holiday mode and go see Le Basement XXXmas!

Veronica McLaughlin
 
Le Basement XXXmas Cabaret
19 Nov – 19 Dec
Basement Theatre
Tickets are available HERE.